The Road To Wembley Via Swaffham

I secured my FA Cup Final ticket today.

I had the required number of loyalty points but It still took three-and-a-half Bank Holiday hours of two people hitting redial - that's the equivalent of two finals and one extra time and included the unbearable tension of penalties.

For 95 per cent of the time I didn't get beyond the engaged tone. The rest of it was even more infuriating - I made it into the switchboard queue but got inexplicably cut off.

I eventually got through on my mobile on the A1065 near Swaffham in Norfolk. A seat at Wembley cost £92.

There must be a more efficient way of selling tickets to silver-haired veteran season ticket holders but I guess City haven't had much experience of sorting out finals in the last 30 years.

And in the texted words of Vince from his holiday hideaway in Tel Aviv: "Dave! What an ordeal but we're going back to the TASTE OF LAHORE. Er, WEMBLEY! Wow. FA Cup final. Come on Blues."